Imbolc in Dark, Cold Winter…

Good Witches Homestead

As the cycle of the year turns we are now at the half-way between Winter Solstice and Spring Equinox at the point known as Imbolc, traditionally celebrated in the early days of February.

You’ve heard of groundhogs day? The legend about the groundhog looking for her shadow on February 2, is a vestige of an ancient divination technique to determine how long the winter would last. If she sees her shadow, she will retreat to her den as winter will continue for six more weeks, until spring equinox.

Imbolc in dark, cold winter can signify endurance in the face of adversity and scarcity: we may encounter fragility, tenuousness, uncertainty, darkness and despair beyond what we think we can endure. Women know these experiences. We have held both new life and death in our hands. We have wondered: will this child make it, will the addict live or die, will my…

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The lost art of human connection and why a women’s retreat is so important.

I think human connection is becoming a lost art in this age and era of social media, texting, emailing. We have even lost the art of talking on the phone. How often do you just pick up the phone and call someone, without first scheduling the call via text? We aren’t so lost that we don’t know how to connect we just need to work a little harder and become more mindful of the ways in which we connect.

As women, I think we forget the importance of bonding and in the same breath we forget how to connect with one another. Yes we get together and talk but how much of our conversation revolves around our partners, our children, our jobs. How often do we sit down and talk to our friends about ourselves? How often do we sit down and listen? Do we know how to truly listen without giving advice? Can we fully listen to Sally without trying to fix or help her? It’s hard, I know.

Let me add something else to this thought pattern….guilt…How often do we feel guilty for talking about ourselves. I have a feeling we all feel fine discussing our partners and our kids, especially if we are complaining. God forbid we talk about our amazing lives, nobody wants to hear that. Ourselves, how often do we apologize directly after sharing something about ourselves. The “I’m sorry I’m crying” , “I’m sorry to vent” , etc…. I”m not trying to make a blanket statement that we all do this all of the time, this is just something to ponder and to practice some awareness around.

Flash forward to the upcoming women’s retreat I’m hosting in Kauai this April….all of the above things are the reasons I think and I feel so inspired to lead a women’s retreat. I’m so excited to be doing this but I also have a lot of other feelings and emotions tied into it. I feel guilty for leaving to focus on myself. I feel guilty leaving my partner at home. I feel guilty taking time off of work. I feel guilty spending money on myself, I feel guilty taking time to myself. Those of you reading this and feeling those same feelings, you aren’t alone. And all of those reasons listed are exactly why you/we need a retreat. I’m not saying mine is the only one you should go on, there are so many. I’m saying that we all need to take time for ourselves in some way. We need to find ourselves again.

That is the purpose of this retreat. To take time to find ourselves, to re-learn how to listen to ourselves. It’s time to allow ourselves to be supported and listened to by other women, other humans who are like us. It’s time to leave our jobs and our families behind, just for a short period of time, to grow into stronger versions of ourselves. It’s time to put ourselves first and to learn to be a little selfish so that we can come home and be better partners, better friends, better moms, better employees, etc.

This retreat is so much more than just a vacation or hanging out at a resort. We will be staying together in a beautiful home with mountain and ocean views. There will be so many opportunities for connecting with one another and with each other. Imagine starting your day with meditation and a practice followed by a trip to the beach, a hike or simply free time alone if you choose. Imagine going to a beach where you see monk seals swimming or sea turtles sunning themselves in the sand. Think group dinners where you get to laugh and bound with like minded females. Imagine a time where you for once don’t really have to think, you get to simply just “be.” When is the last you went on a trip and you didn’t have to make everything happen yourself?

Courteney lives on Kauai and Nicole and I had the wonderful opportunity to meet her at a yoga training in Sedona. This is is where the magic of the universe really shows herself. We all met in a magical and healing place. Part of our journey in this lifetime is to help and to heal others. The three of us surrendered to the magic of the universe at the same time. We chose the same fork in the road and we chose to take this journey together. That surrender, that trust and that magic allowed this retreat to create itself. The women who come to the same fork in the road and choose this path and this journey with us…..are all the women who are truly meant to be doing this.

As I march forward in this lifetime, I begin to see the path a little clearer. I begin to trust and I begin to have faith. I begin to trust my instincts more than my thoughts and I begin to fully believe that each path we choose is the correct path for us. My ending question to you as you reach your next fork in the road is which path do you choose?

Fear Cloud…Weather Edition

One time each winter I fall victim to the collective fear energy of the weather. Once a year I allow myself to get caught up in the wave of panic. A snowstorm is coming, polar vortex, ice storm….any one of those can start the panic trigger. I feel my heart racing, I check my weather apps and websites (yes I have multiple ones), I get a little sweaty and I find myself getting excited for a potential disasterous weather event. I look outside any chance I can get, I talk to anyone who will listen. I wonder if work will get canceled, should I cancel work, how much food should I buy at the grocery store. We all stock up as though we will get snowed in for days, weeks. It’s fun, its exciting, its even a little exhilarating. Then….nothing happens.

There is this weird let down. I find myself feeling let down that a natural disaster didn’t occur. It’s a little messed up, nothing bad happened so I’m sad? What is that about? I’m safe and I feel a little depressed about it. I go about day among all of the other humans who also are sad and let down that we avoided yet another natural disaster. I know I’m not alone in this feeling.

Once a year I allow this to happen, I allow myself to get swept up in the fear cloud. I allow myself to believe it, to feel it and then I become immune to that cloud. My energetic gas mask appears. I see the collective fear as a giant cloud, it starts off small and then grows bigger as more people get caught up into it and their fear energy feeds the cloud. I see the cloud but I can no longer get caught up into it. The cloud comes closer but my energy gas mask protects me. The cloud tries to get me, it tries to seduce me, it so badly wants me to feed it but I can’t, I won’t. The cloud passes me by, I feel left out, I feel like an outsider, I don’t fit it, I don’t run to the grocery store, I don’t panic, my heart doesn’t race. I go about my day in a normal state. I go to bed and actually get a good night of sleep. I wake up feeling refreshed, ready to face the day disaster or not.

What is holding you back?

I pulled a tarot card this morning and it was the Oppression card. Let me just tell you, it is a scary looking card. I almost didn’t want to look up the meaning….but of course I did. The key theme is what is holding you back? What is oppressing you? The trick to these cards is just see what comes up first. Let the thoughts swirl, because let me tell you something….the thoughts will definately swirl. Swish them all around like a glass of wine, let them settle and then re-ask yourself “what is holding you back?’

Myself, that is what is holding me back. I hold myself back from a lot of things, why? Fear of course. Isn’t fear the thing that gets in the way of most everything in life. It comes in all shapes and sizes. Fear of success, fear of failure, fear of looking dumb, fear of being liked, fear of being seen, fear of not being seen, fear of pretty much everything. It’s insane when you really think about. So I’ve decided to become friends with my fear. Hmmmm lets name her (yes I’ve decided her pronoun is her) Francine is the name that popped right into my head. Francine Fear, see when you name your fear it becomes a little less scary.

We all have choices, we can friend Francine or we can continue to let the bully rule the playground. For now I choose friendship. What do you choose?

The Beginning…

I’m an esthetician, a yoga teacher and a lover of unicorns, magic, tarot, crystals and cooking.  This is meant to be a space where I talk about all of the above while also keeping things real.  I have been an esthetician for over 11 years and a yoga teacher for 4 years.  Blogging has been in the back of my mind for years. I finally bought myself a computer (I haven’t owned one in maybe 10 years) and decided this is the year. I maybe also pulled a tarot card today that asked me what is holding me back. Yes this will be a future blog post for sure. So here I am writing my first blog entry because why not? In my line of business I have the amazing opportunity to connect with lots of amazing humans. Sometimes we get into really amazing conversations and sometimes I have amazing conversations in my brain with myself. I feel like its time to share. Not in a tell all kind of way but in a ‘hey other people should be privy to this information too.” Hence the keeping it real.

I’m not going to worry about having perfect grammar. I used to worry about that stuff back in the day, yes I used to diagram sentences for fun. In fact, I originally was an English major in college. Was is the key word there, my freshman year of college I realized English isn’t a black and white kind of major.  If the teacher liked my style then I got a good grade.  I found that dumb and didn’t want to ruin my writing “voice” so I quit that major and also quit writing until now.  Pretty redicilous but I’m a stubborn person.  

So here we are, the beginning of the Once Upon a Pink Moonbeam. Welcome to the journey, I’m intrigued to see where this will lead.